I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
