his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Randomize
