my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
