Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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