suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
