Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
