did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
