I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
