Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
