For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
