She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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