he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Randomize
