so that wasnt chicken after all
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
