If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Randomize
