So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
