Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
