I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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