You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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