The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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