She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Sext me about skeletons
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
