I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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