So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
