are you so shy because you have an std?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Randomize
