Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
My bed smells like the plague
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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