Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
