I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I have fence marks all over my body
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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