Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
