Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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