After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
