Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I have aggressive nipples.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
