he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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