drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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