69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I think pants incapable of making pants work
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
