that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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