I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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