Got a toothbrush?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
