You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
