Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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