In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Randomize
