That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
