i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
