Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
