He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Randomize
