we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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