yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
The power of my boobs compel you
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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