hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
