I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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