He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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