tonight lets celebrate not being married
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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