Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Two words: blizzard sex
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
